Xu's Guide To Not Being Retarded

Okay, I'm here! I read "Getting Started"! Now what?
First thing, you'd BETTER have read Getting Started. That page contains the BASIC information your dumbass needs to even have a hope of surviving in the harsh, deadly world of H&H. Forget what the front page says. Forget what the forums or the other players say. This isn't a peaceful little sim where you can just build up, prosper, and have fun the entire time. There are griefers, raiders, bastards, evil goons, and motherfuckers out there that will break into your home, slaughter you in your sleep, and all just so they can steal the shitty little pieces of leather you're hoarding in your fucking coffers.

So it's war, then.
You're damn fucking right it's war. In the budding world that is H&H, people should be considered enemies up until they prove themselves otherwise. Expect no trust, and give none either. The glorious settlement of is, and will probably remain, your only source of assistance in this unforgiving hellhole. That is, if you can prove yourself worth helping. If you can show us you're not retarded.

Fuck! How the hell do I do that?
The best measure of your skill in Haven & Hearth is your ability to function autonomously.

The best measure of your skill in Haven & Hearth is your ability to function autonomously.

The best measure of your skill in Haven & Hearth is your ability to function autonomously.

See that? That one sentence is the summation of this entire guide. If you cannot function without being told what the fuck to do, then we don't want you. Get your ass in gear, learn the basics, and show us that you can do what needs to be done. I've visited and stayed with around half a dozen piddly, little no-name villages and settlements. And the one thing that they all have in common, what I believe is the reason that they ARE "piddly, little no-name villages", is the fact that they pigeon-hole their residents into fulfilling a very specific, arbitrary role. They say "put all your points in this, focus solely on this, do this and this alone". Whether it's Cooking, Leatherwork, Glass, Metalsmithing, it doesn't matter. Restricting a player to a single job will be the death of your settlement. Rather than having an individual or small group be in charge of single aspect, a settlement's residents should share the workload of every job. That way, if one or more residents decide to up and leave, quit, or just plain get their dumbasses killed by a Bear, Boar, or griefer, then the village as a whole will still be able to function without falling apart due to lack of leather, food, or the like.

Worry about your fucking land later. You can get your claim OMG HUGE after you turn your little pussy Hearthling into a powerhouse. Focus the vast majority of your LP on skills first. Then stats. THEN you can waste your excess LP on making your land claim bigger. And to help you do this, I've included a few tidbits of useful information below.

Lumberjacking
I would suggest using your first 200 LP to purchase Lumberjacking. While clearcutting a forest and leaving it in ruins is a bad idea, if you intend to USE the logs and stumps (and you'd fucking better) then there's no shame in hacking away with a Stone Axe. Once you've gotten yourself another good chunk of LP, I'd suggest moving onto:

Hunting
Honestly, Hunting isn't going to be particularly useful to you at first other than killing chickens and rabbits for their meat and other various byproducts. One of these byproducts is Bone Material, which you need to make a fucking saw. After Hunting, I'd suggest

Foraging, Plant Lore, then Farming
These skills will save your life. I mean it. Foraging allows you to spot herbs in the wild, which is awesome, but the real reason we want it at the moment is to pave the way to Plant Lore and Farming. Farming allows you to make yourself a Wooden Plow, which you'll need to plow yourself out a little spit of land upon which to build your faggot self a house. Which reminds me, you'll need

Stone Working
In order to make sure your house and belongings don't decay into a pile of worthless shit while you're sleeping in your cheap little bough bed, you need to build it on paved ground. Once you have Stone Working, you can chip stone from one of those big fucking rocks and use it to turn your plowed field into a nice, solid foundation. Now! You remember up there, when I told you to whack shit down with your Stone Axe? Well, now you're going to use each and every log and stump your dumbass chopped down. Preferably, to set yourself up a residence. Build yourself a house, get some cabinets, and go to work. Farming, Leatherworking, Smithing, expand your repertoire of abilities. Make your skillset a varied and useful one, and we'll accept you into with open fucking arms.

Got all that, you cockgobbler?

Good.

Later kiddies.

~Xu